Monica says true love waits.

Bonus points for the girl at the top right at 1:21.

Anyone who knows me well knows I love a good spoken word interlude in a song like nobody’s biz.  There’s something so wonderful and so, so cheesy about the entire concept that just gets me every time, especially because I can’t help but wonder what goes through artists’ and producers’ minds when they’re in the studio cranking out hits and they all agree that this is a good idea.  “What’s missing here?  Oh, I know, inserting a completely fabricated monologue (or even better — a dialogue) into the middle or intro of this song will really give it that extra dose of emotional realism we need to connect with the audience.  After all, emotions aren’t quite high enough right now, even though I’m FUCKING SINGING about something, so let’s show everyone what we really mean by dropping the melody…and talking.”

On a pretend phone call, for example.

Or in a made-up argument.

Or in a fake accent.

Now, the undisputed kings of spoken word interludes are Boys II Men, whose deep-voiced monologues let you know you’re about to go on a journey to someplace real — and real sexy, girl.

But, not too sexy, ya hear?

Even though this is is pretty much tailor-made for R&B, hip-hop is also littered with examples of when talking in rhyme to a beat is also just too much.

Sometimes the meaning is cryptic:

And sometimes, especially when it comes to hoes, the meaning is pretty clear:

Pop music has it’s fair share of monologues and spoken snippets (like in every Janet Jackson song ever).  There’s Lady Gaga, giving Ready for the World a run for their money in the Terrible Faux Accent category with “Alejandro,” Chromeo dealing with a nagging GF blowing up their cell in “Needy Girl,” M.I.A. spouting some typically pseudo-political nonsense in “Paper Planes” and, for sheer length, who could forget All Saints:

I could go on…”Hot for Teacher,” “Black or White,” “Human,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” the entire Barry White catalog.

But, my peronal favorite?  For making the spoken word intro seem cool by way of pure, unadulterated badassery, Ike and Tina:

Can’t help it….I love me some Sia.

1.) “Baby I’m Yours,” BreakBot
2.) “Blue Dream Lover,” Elke
3.) “MCs Can Kiss,” Uffie
4.) “Dancing Together,” Dabid Byrne & Fatboy Slim feat. Sharon Jones
5.) “Worse It Gets (RAC Remix),” Penguin Prison
6.) “The Coast is Always Changing,” Maximo Park
7.) “Tighten Up,” The Black Keys

8.) “Rock ‘n’ Roll,” The Sounds
9.) “Human,” The Human League
10.) “Humdrum Town,” Theophilus London