MR. DOOL

Celebrities have a lot on their minds, and perhaps none moreso than international famous person Dita Von Teese.  So to take one item off of her sure-to-be-overflowing plate, I’ve gone ahead and brainstormed a list of possible titles for her memoirs, should she ever decide to spin a compelling yarn of girdles and nipple tassels (oh, that’s a title right there).  Plus, without me, she’d probably chose something like War & Teese: A Life in Burlesque and we can’t let that happen.  You know, I’m really selfless.

• Inexplicably Famous: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Of Girdles and Nipple Tassels: The Dita Von Teese Story
• 2007 Was Pretty Good: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Mostly I Just Go to Events: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Hot in Theory: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Burlesque, and Other Sustainable Careers: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Did I Mention I Love the 40′s: The Dita Von Teese Story
• And You Said Sleeping with Marilyn Manson Would Be a “Bad Idea”: The Dita Von Teese Story
• My Parents Definitely Don’t Understand: The Dita Von Teese Story
• Fuck Sunshine: The Dita Von Teese Story
• No, I Actually Haven’t Thought of a Plan B: The Dita Von Teese Story
• You’ve Seen Nothing Yet: The Dita Von Teese Story
• I Do Not Own Sweatpants: The Dita Von Teese Story
• WE GET IT: The Dita Von Teese Story