MR. DOOL


Nate Berkus Doesn’t Like to Get His Hair Wet, and Other Dumb Shit Celebrities Think We Care About

In the October issue of GQ, design guru Nate Berkus made this startling confession: “All right, here’s the truth: I hate getting my hair wet.”

Oh, Nate.  Nate, Nate, Nate.  Nate, who I’m still not convinced is not actually Bradley Cooper (have you ever seen them together?), has much to learn about the art of a good celebrity soundbite, namely that when you begin a sentence with “All right, here’s the truth,” you better fucking end it with something more interesting than your weirdo grooming habits.  Like, “All right, here’s the truth: I just did a bunch of blow and LET’S DANCE!” or “All right, here’s the truth: Rachael Ray touched me…down there.”

You can’t exactly blame Mr. Berkus for this most boring admission.  Nate’s (and everyone’s) mentor, Oprah, has made many a bland statement that she seems to think people will find interesting simply because she is the one saying it.  But, Nate, you are not Oprah, and you best not forget it, because just as Oprah giveth, Oprah can taketh away.  Fortunately, if Berkus ever does need to defend himself against his more mind-numbing musings (he also doesn’t “believe in” buying new watches, much like you or I may not “believe in” watching The Nate Berkus Show), there is a long line of other celebrities who are right behind him, running their mouths and preening in the warmth of our collective adulation.  Take a walk with me, won’t you?

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